Positive attitude a must to raise a physically challenge child

Andrew Miller and Christine Johnson are engaged to be married soon. Both share one thing in common: They are the parents of four-year-old Alex Miller, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was three. Neither of them anticipated what it would be like to raise a child with such a disability. The more vocal Miller told Family and Religion that it is extremely challenging dealing with a physically challenged child, but they have both grown to love and accept him the way he is.

"When we found out that Alex had this kind of disability, we didn't know how we would cope. You see, this was so unexpected. We weren't sure how to deal with him. (It was) very stressing to me - the frequent doctor's visits. This changed my entire perspective," Miller stated.

According to Miller, who resides in Gordon Pen, Spanish Town, where he operates a small restaurant, acceptance plays a great part in his attitude towards his son, a character trait he said he learnt from adopting a faith-based lifestyle, one that has largely influenced his decision, along with love, to be planning his marriage to his common-law wife.

"Christina and I have been living apart since I was baptised - a requirement of our faith before marriage - so Alex spends most of his time living with me. Christina comes by on a daily basis to provide the motherly love and care that Alex needs," Miller noted.

initial reluctance

He revealed that in the initial stages, he was somewhat reluctant to tell people about Alex, being conscious of his condition, but that inhibition subsided as time went by and he got a better understanding of his role as a parent to a child with a disability.

"I am proud to talk about Alex. His well-being means a lot to us. People say I am spoiling him, but this is not the case. He is very intelligent and very aware of his surroundings, so I spend a lot of my time learning from him and providing the kind of guidance necessary for his development," Miller disclosed, adding that a very important aspect of raising a child like Alex is ensuring at all times that he sees positive values being displayed by his parents.

Miller said Alex listens to commands and responds favourably when he is reprimanded.

"Alex listens to me. I don't correct him with animosity, but with love each time, pointing out the advantages and the disadvantages of his actions. I make it a teachable moment for him," Miller told Family and Religion.

He said love, care, and patience are important traits he has to employ in raising Alex. Miller pointed out that he has to suppress feelings of anger and self-pity and learn the true values of relationship and his role as a father.

separation between

parent and child

"Alex used to address me by calling me 'Andrew', something he learnt from his environment, having heard people around me calling me by my first name. Through teaching, he has now learnt to say Daddy and Mommy.

Miller said he has come to realise that the way a child addresses his parent makes the administering of discipline much easier.

He accredits Alex with being very independent, a fast learner, and a friendly child who discovers things on his own.

"After seeing this, we bought him a tablet and he often does things on it that encourages us. His mother would ask him from time to time to show her things she doesn't understand, and he would surprise her," the proud father said about his son.

He highlighted one moment in particular when Alex was taken to the doctor. After the doctor introduced himself, Alex's response was, "Good morning, I am Doctor Miller'."

He said Alex has overcome many weaknesses that were suggested he would experience, even learning to walk, and has shown that he will do well in school when the time comes for him to be enrolled.

"Because of Alex, I am drawn to other physically challenged children and I am ready to assist them if needs be," Miller noted.

His message to parents who have children with disability is to "never stop providing the love and care for them, even though it can be challenging. Be prepared to go the extra mile to make them comfortable in their environment".

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com